"Follow Me"

And so my mom looks at me and says "You know, maybe you are meant to give everything away and God doesn't want you to take a lot with you." That has been my thought from the beginning and a reason for getting rid of all of my "stuff." I knew I was ok with being poor, but didn't think my mom would be a fan - and would worry too much about me. Apparently I underestimated her faith - once again.


I had originally thought that selling the condo would give me some extra money to bank - in case I needed it. But there is something to be said for "the security to be insecure". Just as I was advised to "have something else in place before you resign from your job" I have always had a foot in each world - one foot in a world reliant on God for my daily bread, and the other foot in a world that says - "Don't be foolish, have something to fall back on" (Why? in case God is not faithful? in case God is not my security? in case the words I have staked the next leg of my journey on turn out to be false or Jesus wasn't serious?


"Sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."


So Jesus doesn't really say "love me" or "worship me" or "believe in me" as much as He clearly tells us "follow Me". But that is the difficulty. I can probably believe, worship, and love but find it so difficult to "follow" Him, and do what He did, because I know it will ask too much of me. I know it will ask everything of me - and I have one foot in another camp. I am not even sure what it means to follow Jesus - though I am learning day by day.


Ashley Barker is a young man from New Zealand. He, his wife and young family lived and worked among the poor in New Zealand before moving to the slums of Thailand - his whole family! He writes in his book entitled "Surrender All":


"If following Jesus is the WAY, yet we try to hedge our bets following "society's dream", we will undermine our Christian witness to our families and undermine their foundation for life. There is no way to have both. I believe the world doesn't need more billionaires, but it does need more people to live like Jesus. Only by being willing to follow Jesus with our whole hearts can we pass this on to our children. They will smell a rat if we don't. Living the Western consumer dream robs children of what this life can mean for them. I for one will trust this (God's) promise above those of the banks, political parties and multinational companies. Life is full of tough choices. God promises however, that in choosing to stand with the poor we can live deep lives in a shallow world and have all we really need. Is that enough for us? "

I can't have it both ways. But it is difficult to put all my eggs in one basket. Little by little I hope I can move towards a life of faith and follow the One who walked(s) before us. I hope to one day be able to jump with both feet, knowing that I am not alone. It is the journey of faith. It excites me more than anything else I can imagine.