to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God

What a difference a couple of days make. Suddenly I have no response when someone asks "What do you do?" or "Where do you work?" It is a different feeling today than yesterday. Not only is there the financial stuff that comes with joblessness but there is an ego shift in not having a job to help define me. I took a lot of pride in what I did - and with that pride, a lot of ego. In the first half of life, we work and build our "tower", especially men I think. We take genuine pride in our work, providing for our families, doing a good job. All of these things are necessary and I believe a mature step in our development. In the second half of life, at least for me, I find a definite need to let go of those things that have "defined" me and have fed my ego. I am grateful for the opportunity to go on this journey and know that many would like to be able to do the same thing. It just seems that the timing is right for me. I am not forgetting that is because of many of you (friends and family), that I am able to think about journeying like this at all!

In the movie (I have mentioned before and encouraged you NOT to rent) Fight Club, Tyler Durden's dialogue goes something like this:

"You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your @#$! khakis. "

"The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything. " (Didn't St. Francis say this too!)

"This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time! "

So, again - don't rent the movie. It will offend you and make you wonder about me!! But some of the dialogue really hits home for me. The things I do, the things I own, define(d) me. It is my hope, as a by-product of this adventure, that I will be redefined, reborn in a way. If I can get to place, as much as one can, where I have to rely on God for my daily bread, for my safety, for my identity, I will be so grateful and, I believe, very happy. But, as we all know, there is pain with any birth or rebirth. There is no Resurrection without death, no room for the Spirit if there has not been a clearing of space in which the Spirit can reside. Everything is passing away, everything dies. "Even the sun dies" I rejoice in this opportunity and am happy to be a part of this ancient pattern and mystery. If the Trinity is "a dance" which I believe the Trinity is, then I want to enter that dance and be taken away in the flow of life and love that is available to us all.

A friend sent me this quote that was reprinted in Shane's book "The Irresistable Revolution" I like it a lot.

What is, therefore, our task today? Shall I answer: “Faith, hope and love”? That sounds beautiful. But I would say - courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature…we lack a holy rage - the recklessness which comes from the knowledge of God and humanity. The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets, and when the lie rages across the face of the earth…a holy anger about the things that are wrong in the world. To rage against the ravaging of God’s earth, and the destruction of God’s world. To rage when little children must die of hunger when the tables of the rich are sagging with food. To rage at the senseless killing of so many, and against the madness of militaries. To rage at the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction peace. To rage against complacency. To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms to the norms of the Kingdom of God.

Source: Danish pastor killed by the Gestapo in 1944, via The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne