I have been home from Kenya for over a couple of weeks now. I got in to CVG after a good flight from London. It is great to be home although I am missing the Masai folks big time. I called a couple friends in Kenya to see how things were going. Fred, the Masai, has malaria. He’ll be ok but said he was pretty sick and missed some school. Tall Benson is good, still looking for work - like so many people in Kenya!
I have my work cut out for me during my time here in the states. The account of the mission fund is low and I need to find some way to make some money for my next trip to Nairobi. Any help would be appreciated and can be given through the Immaculate Heart of Mary Mission Fund – Africa Project. We are working to create a new foundation, JOURNEY:The Ed Colina Foundation, which can accept donations as a tax-exempt entity. I have a terrific board that is working hard to create something great!
Since being home I have been able to see some friends, spend time with Chris, Diane and family. I have also been able to see Kathy and Karen and bore them all with my videos. Joe and Becky, Fred and others! As always, I have been able to have some quiet times, mostly later in the evenings and revisit some of my reading, writing and thoughts about this great journey we are on. Sunday, the readings at church were helpful to pull me back into a more spiritual space – nothing drastic or earth shattering, but just to remind me what I am doing and why. There were scripture passages about blood sacrifices and the Eucharist. I couldn’t help think of the Masai and their practice of drinking blood. Blood is life. As I’ve written many times, I have a simple Theology of following Jesus, giving my life away, piece by piece and allowing myself to be filled (or refilled). It somehow works for me. Jesus is being broken, shared and given away. I try to follow.
This trip to Kenya has been different. In the past, I made an effort to structure my life, my prayer, etc. as much as I could. I think part of that was a head-trip – trying to be a little monk – but I guess it was necessary. I learned from it. This trip I am more connected to people in a holistic way. I have more time to be alone but the quality is different somehow. It is not forced. One reason this trip is different is that those I am in most contact with are adults, be they young adults – instead of the kids. I can ask, share, learn and pray with/over. Benson (Tall Ben), the Turkana ex-seminarian I have written about, struggles with the church much more than I. I thought at one time that he was leaning towards Muslim religion for its “love of what is true” and he sees what he considers the hypocrisy of his old religious order. Of course he does, he’s young and with that youth comes some immaturity! Everyone usually can and will disappoint you if you are looking for perfect people. Ben even went to a Seventh Day service. Hated it. But he is on the journey. It is fun to get excited about it with him and encourage him. “The best argument against the bad is the doing of the good.” I told him – “just do things better and don’t worry about the hypocrisy of others, etc.” Benson prays four or five times throughout the day and night. I find him sitting alone sometimes or he disappears for twenty minutes or so throughout the day. I learn from that and am drawn into his schedule. He is still living in Kibera slum, looking for money, looking for food and a chance.
Fred, the young Masai man from the manyatta near me has listened to me talk about life, what I wanted and what I didn’t want. He’s heard me talk of how I want to live the second half of my life. We are “passing” each other – he coming from nothing to “build his life” and me trying to simplify. My Kamba friend Mwololo believes that the rains aren’t coming because people like me aren’t going to church. He’s Catholic. So . . .I am having a great time and trying to become even closer to God because I have the sense He wants to be closer to me. . . . maybe as close as being my food for the journey.
Sometimes I just sit and smile. (not always - but sometimes!) This life is big and I have lived longer than my best friend John, who I remember especially each Holy Thursday. That is something – a gift I have been given, not only to live these many years after he suddenly died, but to be able to live it so fully here in Africa! I can’t believe it. I tried to explain that to Masai Fred and Mwololo – why this time of living with them is so holy and such a gift. The project is doing a lot but . . . I am the one benefiting! I can never be thankful enough.
The Kamba culture (from the Village where I used to work) is simple, basic, and beautiful. But the spirituality, although I would like to think that the simplicity of lifestyle would be a help, I actually find the religion immature in a way. It works for them but does not satisfy me. In the case of the village, I blame the church for keeping the people fear-based and somewhat ignorant. At the same time though, there is the simple trust in God, faith that it will rain, believing in God for miracles etc. It is a blind faith I don’t have. But the people will stay at that place with the priest calling the shots and telling them how to live. Anyway, I guess they have a right to whatever faith life they choose. They are a simple, uneducated people. We, on the other hand, should know better and can think for ourselves. We fear everything and protect ourselves and our stuff and our way of life. It is the opposite of faith.
The Masai seem to be even more connected to the earth. The Turkana - who I traveled to visit – even more. A lot of times I get caught up in the work and the stuff to do here in Kenya. You are faced daily with some weather events that lead you to think seriously about God and what God is doing with the weather here – no rain. So the elements make you reflect on God some but I get caught up in the work. I don’t take the time I need but am doing ok feeling connected.
So what is expected of me now? I don’t know. To know would make it easier and why I think people are so easily attracted to a church of “do this, don’t do that”. You know what is expected, at least from the church. But Jesus asks me to follow him. And that leaves the door open to interpretation. I don’t think it is about doing (again that would be easier eh?) I think it is more about “being” and being here, now. And that is work! to not be living in the future or in the past but here, in this moment. That’s where prayer comes in for me – it helps me to be “here – now”. That is the only time I can know the presence of God. I can read about Him in the past and pray to him about the future but can only experience him now – here (wherever) It doesn’t need to be Africa. It can be at home or at school or wherever I can get out of my head.
Everything teaches me (the good and the bad). Everything matters but nothing matters. Everything is serious but you can’t take anything serious. What looks wrong can be right and what looks so holy and right can be so wrong. That’s why we really can’t judge. You just try to stay connected and in the Flow.
I have my work cut out for me during my time here in the states. The account of the mission fund is low and I need to find some way to make some money for my next trip to Nairobi. Any help would be appreciated and can be given through the Immaculate Heart of Mary Mission Fund – Africa Project. We are working to create a new foundation, JOURNEY:The Ed Colina Foundation, which can accept donations as a tax-exempt entity. I have a terrific board that is working hard to create something great!
Since being home I have been able to see some friends, spend time with Chris, Diane and family. I have also been able to see Kathy and Karen and bore them all with my videos. Joe and Becky, Fred and others! As always, I have been able to have some quiet times, mostly later in the evenings and revisit some of my reading, writing and thoughts about this great journey we are on. Sunday, the readings at church were helpful to pull me back into a more spiritual space – nothing drastic or earth shattering, but just to remind me what I am doing and why. There were scripture passages about blood sacrifices and the Eucharist. I couldn’t help think of the Masai and their practice of drinking blood. Blood is life. As I’ve written many times, I have a simple Theology of following Jesus, giving my life away, piece by piece and allowing myself to be filled (or refilled). It somehow works for me. Jesus is being broken, shared and given away. I try to follow.
This trip to Kenya has been different. In the past, I made an effort to structure my life, my prayer, etc. as much as I could. I think part of that was a head-trip – trying to be a little monk – but I guess it was necessary. I learned from it. This trip I am more connected to people in a holistic way. I have more time to be alone but the quality is different somehow. It is not forced. One reason this trip is different is that those I am in most contact with are adults, be they young adults – instead of the kids. I can ask, share, learn and pray with/over. Benson (Tall Ben), the Turkana ex-seminarian I have written about, struggles with the church much more than I. I thought at one time that he was leaning towards Muslim religion for its “love of what is true” and he sees what he considers the hypocrisy of his old religious order. Of course he does, he’s young and with that youth comes some immaturity! Everyone usually can and will disappoint you if you are looking for perfect people. Ben even went to a Seventh Day service. Hated it. But he is on the journey. It is fun to get excited about it with him and encourage him. “The best argument against the bad is the doing of the good.” I told him – “just do things better and don’t worry about the hypocrisy of others, etc.” Benson prays four or five times throughout the day and night. I find him sitting alone sometimes or he disappears for twenty minutes or so throughout the day. I learn from that and am drawn into his schedule. He is still living in Kibera slum, looking for money, looking for food and a chance.
Fred, the young Masai man from the manyatta near me has listened to me talk about life, what I wanted and what I didn’t want. He’s heard me talk of how I want to live the second half of my life. We are “passing” each other – he coming from nothing to “build his life” and me trying to simplify. My Kamba friend Mwololo believes that the rains aren’t coming because people like me aren’t going to church. He’s Catholic. So . . .I am having a great time and trying to become even closer to God because I have the sense He wants to be closer to me. . . . maybe as close as being my food for the journey.
Sometimes I just sit and smile. (not always - but sometimes!) This life is big and I have lived longer than my best friend John, who I remember especially each Holy Thursday. That is something – a gift I have been given, not only to live these many years after he suddenly died, but to be able to live it so fully here in Africa! I can’t believe it. I tried to explain that to Masai Fred and Mwololo – why this time of living with them is so holy and such a gift. The project is doing a lot but . . . I am the one benefiting! I can never be thankful enough.
The Kamba culture (from the Village where I used to work) is simple, basic, and beautiful. But the spirituality, although I would like to think that the simplicity of lifestyle would be a help, I actually find the religion immature in a way. It works for them but does not satisfy me. In the case of the village, I blame the church for keeping the people fear-based and somewhat ignorant. At the same time though, there is the simple trust in God, faith that it will rain, believing in God for miracles etc. It is a blind faith I don’t have. But the people will stay at that place with the priest calling the shots and telling them how to live. Anyway, I guess they have a right to whatever faith life they choose. They are a simple, uneducated people. We, on the other hand, should know better and can think for ourselves. We fear everything and protect ourselves and our stuff and our way of life. It is the opposite of faith.
The Masai seem to be even more connected to the earth. The Turkana - who I traveled to visit – even more. A lot of times I get caught up in the work and the stuff to do here in Kenya. You are faced daily with some weather events that lead you to think seriously about God and what God is doing with the weather here – no rain. So the elements make you reflect on God some but I get caught up in the work. I don’t take the time I need but am doing ok feeling connected.
So what is expected of me now? I don’t know. To know would make it easier and why I think people are so easily attracted to a church of “do this, don’t do that”. You know what is expected, at least from the church. But Jesus asks me to follow him. And that leaves the door open to interpretation. I don’t think it is about doing (again that would be easier eh?) I think it is more about “being” and being here, now. And that is work! to not be living in the future or in the past but here, in this moment. That’s where prayer comes in for me – it helps me to be “here – now”. That is the only time I can know the presence of God. I can read about Him in the past and pray to him about the future but can only experience him now – here (wherever) It doesn’t need to be Africa. It can be at home or at school or wherever I can get out of my head.
Everything teaches me (the good and the bad). Everything matters but nothing matters. Everything is serious but you can’t take anything serious. What looks wrong can be right and what looks so holy and right can be so wrong. That’s why we really can’t judge. You just try to stay connected and in the Flow.
