And so you are learning what?

I spoke with Chris last night. Good to hear a familiar voice and talk about life in both places. He asked (as we sometimes ask each other) "How are things spiritually?" I have to say things are not bad, better than a month ago, not as good as next week! But I have begun to think about why I came, what I've done and what I learned. My friend Richard wrote a book entitled "Adam's Return". In it he states the life lessons that every young man must know and learn. I found myself, especially after the death of the two boys inthe Village, wondering if I might be learning some of those lessons again or for the first time.

- YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT.
- YOUR LIFE IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
- YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL.
- YOU ARE GOING TO DIE.

I think I have denied just about all of those things over my 50 plus years. But in Africa, maybe they are beginning to sink in. In the grand scheme - it isn't all about Ed and perhaps I am not as important as I think I am! Death - I think I disregard and I am definitely not in control of anything. Each of these four truths have been brought home to me in dynamic and real ways - especially death.

I've learned some other things - one being that I can't see God if my ego is inflated. I need to be very small, quiet, watchful - in order to see God. I was sitting outside one evening with a young man who asked me if I prayed. He was struggling with some young adult issues. I looked into his deep eyes and I swear, saw Jesus, God, something Divine in him. He is quiet, humble but has lived a short life very courageously. I was able to talk to him about his faith, his traditions and about courage. It was a conversation I will never forget. I have been able to have similar experiences with other members of the Village - both young and very old.

I have learned to be patient - forced to learn it. It drives me nuts but am getting better at accepting. TIA

I have struggled with emotional stuff - feelings of insecurity, self esteem, jealousy. These are things I thought I dealt with long ago and was certainly suprised when they surfaced in Africa at the age of 53. These feelings are much better now and I partly blame the malaria medicine. Today I find the feelings amusing and I move on.

I'll think some more about what I am learning but one thing I am sure about . . . I didn't have to come to Africa to learn them. Africa was an added gift but I know that God is real and present always, everywhere. God is not "OUT THERE" but so close that God breathes within me. Hopefully more to come.