It is difficult to have a traditional American experience of Christmas this year. Not only are there cultural and religious differences here in Kenya, but I am amazed by how the weather effects my "Christmas Spirit." It is difficult to think of Christmas (or Thanksgiving) when it is 90 degrees and no snow. I went to Yaya Center, a "mall-like place in Nairobi". There was a Kenyan Santa Clause with no one in line for pictures. He was a skinny guy, stuffing coming out of his suit and dreadlocks. I have to say that I am relieved to not have to be racing around looking for presents and unique items to give to people - friends and family, although I really enjoy the idea of letting people know they are cared about and thought of by giving gifts.
But - I need to concentrate on the miracle of God, who is so big, so powerful, so good - coming to this planet as one of us. That is God's saving power - I believe as much as Good Friday and Easter. By coming to earth, Jesus says - it is all good, come and meet my Father and be loved, unconditionally. I think of those I love, my daughter, my sons, my mom and other relatives. I think of the friends I have been fortunate enough to share a life with. When I think of my kids especially and feel the tears welling up behind my eyes because of my love for them, I think about how much more we are loved by a Father who has not left us orphans - but waits for us to join Him - not just when we die but now. I am rambling but think this is central to my thoughts these days. Sin has become anything that keeps me from Him, knowing that love, receiving Him. Sin is not doing bad things or screwing up or disappointing God - it is just anything that keeps me from the "flow" of love that has been given (now and forever). That is punishment in and of itself - not knowing "the flow". I want that "flow" - to know the love that flows from my Father and causes tears to well up behind His eyes when he thinks about how much he loves me / us. I know it is giving human characteristics to God,but that's all I have right now. My possessions, my diversions into moodiness, my unlove for others, etc. etc. all keep me from the "flow" - that's all! But God waits for me and teaches me to let it all go and give it all to Him and to His Creation - which is Him as well! Christmas reminds me that He has entered my life, not with earthquakes and trumpets, not with carols and purchases, but in a small way, a quiet way, an infant way. IT IS SO IMPORTANT FOR ME TO GET SMALL - IN ORDER TO MEET GOD.
I am not sure what Christmas will be like in the Village. When I came they said "Oh you'll be here for Christmas! We will slaughter a goat!" But I know, whatever we do - this first Christmas with kids in the Village, I will try to be small, try to see Jesus again - to try to follow His path of humility, quiet, calm. In a little village in East Africa, I hope that Jesus can be born again in me and in the hundreds of orphans, who - when I think of them - tears well up behind my eyes. How much more can I ask for? How fortunate I am, how fortunate we are! And again, I join God in smiling.
