Bonfires

From sunset to about 9:30, for five nights after the deaths of the boys, bonfires were set - one outside each boy's house. All the neighboring residents joined for singing, dancing, prayers and stories. The children gathered the wood and for the most part, the older boys acted to organize the evenings. The girls lead song after song. The grandmothers were seated on the ground around the fires as well. It was somber, respectful but also had a mix of laughter and fun. Plastic Halloween mask and squirts guns appeared each night! Often the young ones would fall asleep in my arms as the night progressed. I held Wambua on a couple nights, Muki's young brother. On the last night, the night before the first burial, Sr. Mary came from Nairobi and spoke to the groups. It was wonderful to see her and hear her. She is very well respected and added some order and calm to the evenings. After 5 nights of bonfires, we were ready to let go, ready to bury the boys and it was going to be all right.

So my thoughts on life and death? My friend Richard wrote that there are some significant truths that young ones (specifically young men) need to know. In many cultures, these truths are incorporated into initiation rites, etc. Two of the truths I know I have tried to avoid, tried to keep from my students, probably tried to keep from my own children and myself. Life is hard. It is, and I want to make things easy for anyone and everyone. But I think I do them a disservice by trying to do things for them and I make them think that life is not hard - but it is. And the second truth - You are going to die! Damn it - we want to avoid that. We can cover it up, hide death, sanitize and suppress it. But we are going the die - sooner or later. For the two boys, it was sooner. The funeral, my visit to the mortuary (which was quite an experience I'll share later) the cold facts of the death and burial - I wanted to keep from the kids. But they/I need to realize the great truth - I will die. My faith says I will die but to a life that will not end. Either I believe that truth - or I can't believe any of it. These days, this week, I came to know death as real, harsh, even brutal, holy. But I can say that I have come to accept it and not fear it quite so much. It is one of those experiences for which I will be forever grateful.